Even though the sting of winter is in the air and has undeniably arrived, the streets are still littered with the beautiful leaves of autumn. While on my daily walk, the sight of these brightly coloured leaves brought these lyrics to mind:
"Caught some grief from a falling leaf
As she tumbled down to the dirty ground
Said I should have put her back there if I could
Well, everyone needs a better day
And I'm trying to find me a better way
To get from the things I do to the things I should” (Counting Crows)
I hadn’t thought of this song in a really long time, but it seemed an appropriate passage to mark the start of this chapter. It also sparked some important thoughts and ideas to keep in mind.
It occurs to me that as humans of habit we tend to get caught in the first part… recognising a fall and fixating on the grief and longing for things to be different. We start off lost in the "why's" and "what if's". Why are things this way? Why did this happen? Why did I do that? Why did this happen to me? What if things were different? What if this didn't happen? And then, for many of us we get stuck in a deep dark pit of grief. Feeling sad, desperate, hopeless. Bargaining with the universe to alter what has already been. While it’s healthy to give yourself some time to wallow, it is important not to stay in this space for too long. Sadly some people get trapped here for too long.
But it takes self work and self awareness to get to the point of recognising your own limitations, accepting reality and realising that it’s up to you to get to your “better day”. During this phase, support and encouragement are critical. It's also equally important to recognise that it's ok to need help and its ok to accept help. A lesson I am also still learning.
In order to bring about change you need to be ready to accept that it takes time. A tree stays bare and without green leaves for a few months - seemingly dead.
This dormancy is the period in which it seems like nothing is happening, where it seems that despite all your efforts you, are staying the same.
But as we learn from nature, this is temporary... keep going, keep trying, spring is around the corner and you'll bloom yet.
So whether you’re loooking to improve your physical, mental or social wellbeing, before you start your journey, know and accept that it takes hard work and there will be some time before you start seeing results. Be patient. Keep the faith.
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